Deep Thoughts by Sara

I have always loved the expression "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." I heard it in a country song, but I don't think they coined the phrase. Anyway, I have just been thinking about that lately for one reason or another. Doesn't it always seem that when things seem to be perfectly lined up according to my plans, that something goes off track? I'm making it sound like something is wrong with me - oh no, rest assured Baby J and I are both doing fantastic. It's just an interesting perspective to keep. (Pregnancy creates deep thoughts...should I go get out my guitar and strum Kum-ba-ya?)

That phrase is entirely relevant to me right now for a whole slew of circumstances. One of which is planning for this Baby!!!! I am SUCH a planner. Or at least I'd like to be, but sometimes I plan...yet I procrastinate. So then I get stressed out, because I know what I SHOULD be doing, and then I realize I'm NOT doing it, and I don't have any reason WHY I'm not marking items off of my list. Ask Travis, I've been a little edgy the past few days. I know, I know, I'm allowed to be all hormonal and crazy. But that's not me, and I don't like feeling edgy or anxious. I think I'm going through a transition period of - wow, holy cow, Baby J is coming soon and I'm soooooo excited I'd like to do cartwheels up and down the street. (As if this body could even dream of doing a cartwheel. I'm lucky to get off the couch in one try). In the next breath, I think - wow, holy cow, Baby J is coming soon, I haven't finished reading the books on how to be a parent, the stupid dresser has not come yet, I don't own any diapers, nor do I really know how to change a diaper...the list goes on. I think it caught me by surprise to feel a little overwhelmed. In all other aspects of my life, this is the most relaxing time I've had, probably EVER! I work for myself from home, and I am a super cool boss. This office is pretty laid back... :) I have the time to organize, to relax, to just enjoy my solitude during the days. Who gets this time??? Not many people! So I guess I didn't expect to feel any stress. But as I was reading Babywise the other night, trying to figure out this philosophy of when to feed the baby, what not to do, and how not to screw our child up, I thought "if you want to see Baby J laugh, tell her your plans." I picture her in there just cracking up. Like, OK Mom, go ahead and read your books and clean out your closets...and if you think that will prepare you for motherhood, you are in for a royal treat. So while I refuse to quit nesting and preparing...and I will probably continue to sit Travis down nightly and make him go over the "Things To Do Before 1/1/09" list, I think I'm going to make a conscious effort to realize that my 'to do' list is not my preparation for motherhood. Sure it helps to get organized and read up on stuff - that may make for less surprises later on. That is a good thing. But I can't let myself get so caught up in everything being planned 100%, because that will NEVER happen. Not in terms of this baby, or anything else in my life! And yet, everything will work out just fine.

Maybe I'll live on the edge today and not make a list. hahaha I've got several people close to me who are dealing with uncertainty, or plans that are constantly changing, maybe plans that have gone awry. So this is my shout-out to them...let's just throw our lists out the window and enjoy the ride today. We don't have a clue where it's going, but it's sure to end up OK, this I know.

Kum-ba-ya... :)

I know I just posted this picture. But isn't this a perfect example of Taylor not knowing what's coming, and just enjoying the ride? I just had to post it again - priceless!